kah6imi9xy
Dołączył: 22 Lis 2010
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 Wysłany: Śro 13:44, 05 Sty 2011 Temat postu: puma complete ventis Sounding the Emoti Puma Drift |
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4. Yet, getting yourself in a rage over your situation is really a powerful — but only a thinly-veiled — attempt at hiding the truth from yourself and everyone else. Underneath the manic gladness and the depressive sadness, underneath the rageful anger, there lies the most unacceptable emotion of them all. Deep down, you're scared. For a man, almost all emotions are unacceptable (except anger, occasionally). And, the most unacceptable emotion of them all is to be 'scared'. Still, that's the operative emotion at the core of the midlife transition. You've lost your way; you don't know which way to go; and there's nobody there you can trust to help you, In fact, merely acknowledging tha
Let's take a look at the kinds of feelings that you can expect to experience during the midlife transition.
2. But, what happens when you're not getting your own way? Evidently, you'll probably be feeling 'sad.' For whatever reason [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], your career, your relationship, or your health may have hit a wall. Or, even more likely, they're not at an impasse, they just aren't getting any better. You're tired. You're emotionally spent. You're sad. You may feel so sad that you just want to give up, or, alternatively, just chuck it all away for good. At least on the surface, that may seem like the only way to get out of the dumps and to start feeling 'glad' again (see #1).
What do you think that midlife feels like? I suspect that most people going through this experience would say, "Confusing." Yet, any first-year psych major would be able to tell you that 'confusion' isn't a feeling. Feelings, when boiled down to their basic essences, come in only about four flavors: 'mad,' 'sad,' 'glad,' and 'scared.' The confusion comes from an inability (or unwillingness) to get down and dirty and really identify the feelings that are churning around down there. It's often the case that, on one hand, you do recognize how you feel, but, on the other hand, your intellect tells you, "That can't be true! I can't be feeling that way!" As a result, your mind and your emotions end up at war with each other. It's not pretty.
3. When you're finally tired of the 'sad'-'glad' merry-go-round, it'll be time for you to dig deeper inside [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], because neither feeling 'glad' nor feeling 'sad' are telling you anything like the whole, true story. "Depression," they say, "is anger turned inward." Underneath the furious rebellion that makes you feel 'glad' and the self-punishing depression that makes you feel 'sad' lies a complex of emotions that you'll eventually be able to recognize as 'mad.' You're angry! You're pissed off! You've been following your convictions about what was the right things to do all the way along (and working rather hard at it, I'm sure), and now it all feels worthless. So, you've become furious. You're furious at your career; you're furious at your family; you're even furious at yourself. And, when you're tired of being furiously sad, you break out and become furiously glad. When you look at it all like that [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it doesn't look too pretty: in effect, you're having a tantrum.
1. First of all, the majority of what you're going to be feeling during this period of your life isn't all that comfortable. Probably the least common experience will be to be feeling 'glad,' so I suspect that this one is the most superficial of your feelings. When does a guy in midlife feel glad? Most often, when things are going well for him and he's getting his own way. Often, there's an 'I'll show them' attitude attached to it, or a rebellious sense of thumbing your nose at customary propriety.
We know one thing for certain regarding midlife: it's an emotional maelstrom. The principal difference between your reactions to the emotions that you experience during the midlife transition and the ones you endured during puberty lies in the fact that you're so much more adept at finding creative ways to stuff, deny, and project your feelings away from yourself so that you won't have either to show with them or deal with them . . . at least for now.
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